What the hell just happened? Eastern Promises just happened.

Here’s a post from Matt.  Since Matt is writing again, like me, I’m throwing this over to the new site.  Which new site?  Well, look at the banner.  If you want the direct link, click here. 

So, I finally sat down and watched Eastern Promises, (For those who want to know who is in it - Viggo Mortenson and Niaomi Watts) for the entire movie, I was really into the film. It had good action, a naked fight scene and Niaomi Watts isnt bad to look at. But once the movie ended, I had no idea what just took place. This movie made me completely space out, I had no idea what the hell I just watched or what just happened. I liked the movie, erm, I believe I liked the movie. My girlfriend said she liked the movie, but like me, had no idea what just went on.

This movie had a great story, but it is one of those films that kind of made me…uhh..I dont believe there is a word in the english dictionary that can describe it. And because of it, you can give this movie the Mace Windu stamp of approval!!!

Oh yeah, and for all those LOTR fans out there (And if you know what LOTR is, you are a nerd also) you get to see Aragorn fight naked. I always wondered what Middle Earth looked like on him.

Movies that I also recently watched and thought were good.

Tron - Dont you think they need a Tron 2: Tron Harder….

I know pronouce you chuck and larry. It had some great laughs. Not the same time of laughs I got during the fight scene during Borat. But it had some great moments. Also, Jessica Biel is really hot.

Transformers. I apologize for taking so long to watch it. I wasnt a Transformers kid. I watched DinoRiders and TNMT. But it was a damn good movie. That chick is hot. You know, she was in one episode of Two and a Half Men? Also, a great show. Not as good as DinoRiders though.

It’s finally happened!

Yes, after weeks of waiting, and false hopes, I’ve finally got the other blog up and running.  Hey, at least I’m not as late as Blizzard is with their games.  This shall be the last post on this blog, but not the last post of myself.  If you still want to hear what I’ve got to say, head over to my new blog: MNOSS.wordpress.com.  For those that are horrible at acronyms, those letters spell out the title of the blog Movies No One Should See.  It’s a little quicker to type plus you won’t worry about misspelling it from time to time (like I do when I’m writing really fast).

Eventually, you will see some of your favorite posts appear on the new blog while they are taken off of here.  If you have any requests for movies you want me to review, or anything that would work as a topic, don’t be afraid to e-mail me (Moviesnooneshouldsee @ Gmail dot Com (yes, you still have to spell that one out)).

Like you’ve seen on the banner and now on the sidebar, please update your RSS feeds and Links and prepare for the new adventure.

- Robby

According to the FCC, 2 billion people want me to come back and write.

Yes, that’s reference to the Family Guy episode where the FCC goes ballistic censoring everything on TV that might be offensive. Here’s the transcript:

Head of the FCC: Gentlemen, we got twenty calls about the David Hyde Pierce incident. And as you know, one call equals a billion people; which means twenty billion people were offended by this. Needless to say, something must be done.

I wish I could show you the clip, but like I said last time, my youtube account got revoked because I put clips online that were made by other people. Every time I try and search for it on youtube, it says “video removed,” so whatever. Youtube has gone down hill since Google bought it. I’ll talk about it later.

But, to quell all rumors, yes, I’ll be back. I thought that I had to constantly provide you with entertainment, and with my busy schedule, it wasn’t enough to quench all of your thirsts. I realized that I don’t have to do that. I mean, Maddox has only posted 4 times this year, and everyone still reads him.

But things will change around here. First of all, it’s not going to be here. Yes, this website is moving, but not far. The new address will be: mnoss.wordpress.com (yes, I’m still cheap, it’s free and my girlfriend wants a ring before I register a website for my blog, and I want a Wii). If you click there now you’ll get me setting up the blog. MNOSS will launch Monday, October 1 (update your RSS feeds).

Next, all of the content on this blog will disappear. It will be deleted. Little by little, I’m going to go through the posts, edit them and re-post the ones that I like which don’t have my Youtube videos on them. The Top 10 Family Guy Intros, gone. Christian Bale Will Steal your Lunch Money, gone. Family Guy vs. Simpsons, still here. Some of the Reviews won’t be published again, while the main ones will be re-edited and posted. There’ll be a note on the sidebar to go to the new site when people look for those articles.

And, since you guys think I’m funny (and I’m flattered), I’m going to spice it up. You’ll get a persona of me, not the actual me. I’ll be funnier, a little raunchier, and more unpredictable. Everything on the new site should be taken with a grain of salt (except when I talk about movies I like).

As always, I’ll look for new writers (Meta, Puck, write more than 1 article, please!) who want to throw in humor. I’ll talk Matt to get him to write some new material. If you want to write for the new site, send an e-mail to Moviesnooneshouldsee@gmail (.com) and I’ll see what I can do.

Remember, come Monday, come on over to the new site. I’ll have an RSS feed, so add it in your RSS readers and you’ll know when I actually post. You’ll see less Awards coverage (unless I’m mocking them) and more stuff like fake interviews, fake movie scripts, and other articles. You have an idea, e-mail it to me at the address above. Or, better yet, comment me. I love comments. If I write something, if you have an opinion (which I know you do since you’re online), voice it.

I want to thank you guys for your support, it was great to be known that people like to read my writings. Hopefully you’ll come over and read the new stuff (Yes, it will be new) when it gets launched. Just think of this move like what Christopher Nolan did with Batman Begins.

I’ve stepped away from the edge. Thanks for talking me down.

- Robby

The End of Movies No One Should See?

This might be near the end of this blog run for several reasons:

1. The rampant amount of spam comments I’m getting is only throwing off number of actual blog hits I’m getting.  So I don’t know how many people I know are reading my blog.  Not that it matters, but it’s throwing off my pressure of trying to watch more movies (something that’s gone down as the year has progressed.  Just the ebb and flow of life).

2. YouTube disabled my account.  Yeah, no more of me uploading youtube clips.  Here’s what I don’t understand; I’m not making any money from this site.  None at all.  There are no ads because most of them are spams that are getting blocked.  Now, I’m giving the shows/movies free advertisement by talking about them.  Fox didn’t like me having Arrested Development up on youtube; you know, the first few minutes of the pilot that they canceled the show several years ago.  I know it’s there show, I was only promoting it.  Oh well.  - Of course this means that my Family Guy Top 10 list is no longer active.  Sorry.

3. Movie reviews are a dime a dozen in the internet age.  You don’t need me to tell you what you should watch and not watch.  IF there’s an outcry (which I imagine there won’t be considering I haven’t posted any actual reviews in over a month), I’ll start posting again.

Thanks for the ride, it was fun.

How to Get a Comment Deleted on My Site

Don’t get me wrong, I love free speech. I think that as an American, having free speech allows us to share our thoughts and feelings without get censored. Of course, this being the internet, not even WordPress.com (my wonderful blog provider) can help from being censored. Even Livejournals accounts were being deleted, another form of censorship.

Everyone on the internet has an opinion (hint, that’s why there’s a ton of blogs). And when people are given an outlet on the internet to voice their opinions like comments or fourms, you hope that they tend to write well thought out ideas. But most of this time, it comes out like this collegehumor.com clip (NSFW):

Now, its this trend that disturbs me. Sure, I get some negative comments on my site trying to prove me wrong. But, if they are thought out, and use evidence, I’ll let them stay up because it’s a discussion. The two most popular posts I’ve written that have gotten the most negative feedback are the Napoleon Dynamite review and the Family Guy vs. The Simpsons fake fight.

Superbad = Superbad? - A Mini Review of Superbad

I admit it, I was caught up on the media hype for this movie: funniest movie this generation, quotable to no end, you’d be an idiot not to see this movie. So I dragged my girlfriend to see this movie. She said all the funniest parts were in the trailer. I looked at her funny. This was Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill and Micheal Cera; I love their work.

But she was right. Damn her! Now I owe her a chick flick. Sigh.

Review Titles I Didn’t Use

A fun post since I didn’t really have anything prepared this week (and I’m not going to insult you with a quick write up of a movie or TV show). That, and I’m biding my time until I catch Superbad either tonight or tomorrow. Don’t tell me you’re not hot for that movie as well?

You know how I was doing movie reviews (some of you do) and I would write up something kinda funny in the title? Like this:Eva Mendes Sets People Aflame - A Mini Review of Ghost Rider

Yes, no? Well, I got tons of those type of titles. And to prove to you that I have been watching movies, and thinking of reviews, here’s all of the movies I’ve watched for the first time this year. No, not reviews, just those catchy titles plus their outtakes. If you actually want me to do one of these reviews, comment and tell me. Yes, this is long, but it’s short as well…

John McClane, his later years - A Mini Review of 16 Blocks

I don’t think I’ve seen as many shirtless men since, wait, nevermind… - A Mini Review of 300

Best Commercial Ever?

I just saw this on TV so I had to go see if I could find it on YouTube, which of course I did. I can’t stop laughing. It’s not one of those “dumb commercials where someone gets hit in the crotch with something either. When I need this type of product, I will use this brand, only for this commercial (Well, not me personally, my wife/girlfriend). What could make me laugh so hard? One line:

Thank you Clear Blue for making my day. Watch out for another post today (what? seriously!)

Don’t Let Hollywood Teach You Geography - The Contract

Living in the Pacific Northwest (Washington), I’m ecstatic when I see movies that take place in my backyard. No, I don’t care if they’re actually filmed in Vancouver (about 2 1/2 hours north of Seattle), but as long as they portray my home in good terms I’m fine.

It’s when people don’t respect this area is when I get mad.

You see, if a film is made in New York, people pay attention to details. New Yorkers complain if during the course of a film someone says a restaurant on the wrong street. Of course, here in Washington (state, not D.C. Washington D.C. is called, D.C. not Washington), people don’t notice if new cities are created. If only I could think of one. Oh, wait, I can. The “city” of Woodburn, Washington as seen in The Contract.

 

Back Up Movies for the Weekend - 7-20-07

So you and the misses have decided to rent a movie tonight instead of going to a new one since it’s much cheaper and the fact no one calls the cops on you if your heavy petting gets heavier. After a quick look at your local Blockbuster you find that the movies that came out this week are all gone. Your wife/girlfriend/soon to be ex-girlfriend is hitting you saying, “This is why we should have come here first instead of dinner!” What do you do?

Follow this guide of course.

This week’s movies most likely checked out:
Factory Girl
The Hills Have Eyes 2
Premonition

Comic courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cartoons.

Reviews after the jump.